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Mystery Meat Navigation: Big Corporations and/or Classic Examples


Here are some classic examples of Mystery Meat Navigation (MMN) and some from large corporations that were pulled from the pages of Web Pages That Suck:

Augsburg College:

Submitter's comments: I've been tasked with designing a Web page for a college and have been looking at some of the competition's pages. In the process, I stumbled across this one.

Mainly I wanted to point out the Mystery Meat Navigation (MMN) bar at the bottom. In addition to the usual problems with MMN, it won't even sit still long enough for me to figure out what the pictures represent. There's also the little "before/after" movie leading into the page that you have to sit through every time you reload the home page. How irritating!

I'm not crazy about the navigation, either. Once you leave the home page, the style changes completely (and will continue to change as you navigate into different parts of the site). If you're really unfortunate, you'll navigate yourself back to a "blank" home page, which only offers the MMN bar at the bottom for navigation.

Augsburg College

Vincent Flanders’ comments:

This site reminds me of the movie Species (I could only watch part of it). Basically, the plot concerns scientists who create a woman who is part alien. She's gorgeous and every man wants to have sex with her, but she "can change from a beautiful woman to an armour-plated killing machine in the blink of an eye."

This is a beautiful site, but it's just as dangerous with its incredibly stupid conveyor belt "Mystery Meat Navigation" When you're on sub-pages and click the home link, guess what? Yes. You have to go back and reload the Flash home page.

I didn't believe the statement about going to nothing but the MMN. Silly me, it's true. I went to the "News" page and then clicked the "Augsburg College" bread crumb text link. Bad coding. Here's the screen shot (63Kb). Of course, they've fixed it.

I will give them credit for having a non-Flash home page.

Like the woman in the movie "Species" this site is gorgeous, but will kill you.

Augsburg College

Chipotle

Their e-mail concerning Chipotle

I'm not sure if you've had this one on before, but it drives me crazy. You have no idea where to go or how to navigate the site.

Vincent Flanders' comments:

This site has been nominated more times than any other web site in the history of WPTS.

Chipotle

Other comments #1: It has been years since i've contributed (I once made it into one of your books) and thought you may like this site.

Other comments #2: Chipotle may make good burritos but their Mystery Meat Navigation just leaves a bad taste. After a cute little animation the logo just sits on the screen by itself. Is it a malfunction in the PHP or something funky with the Javascript? Nope—the logo IS the navigation! Add to the fact that the navigation disappears on each page, there’s no way to tell where you are from place to place and navigation (if you find it of course) has unclear options that don’t tell you were you are going and I think this site deserves to be a Daily Sucker. Fun sites are one thing. Chipotle.com is another.

Other comments #3: I had to drop you a note. I was at your web site http://chipotle.com this morning and was really disappointed. That probably isn't a big deal, but it also cost you some revenue because I gave up trying to find a location near me after too many battles. Multiply me by 50 or 500 people with issues getting to information and this starts adding up.

Your site said I didn't have Flash. Well, I do. But I have a javascript security tool to keep javascript from running from running without permission. I did click on the link that indicated I sneak in to the main site, once I figured out what the problem was. But I'm not sure what the point was, because I couldn't use your store locator even after that.

Why do you require Javascript? Your site should be allow basic navigation without it.

Why do you require Flash? Not allowing basic informational use without requiring third party add-ons (especially those that facilitate third-party tracking) is a real headache for those of us just trying to find some simple information.

When I got to the main page, there was just a little orb in the page. Nothing else. No text. No "click here for text version". I ended up having to wander the page with my mouse, and wait for the secret of each leaf to be revealed. I couldn't just look at the page and figure anything out. Once I checked out each of the leaves in turn I found what I hoped would be the right "leaf". I guessed that store locations would be in "FAQs". Hmmm. No such luck. What, store locations aren't an faq item?

When I did finally locate the store locator, I tried to click on the little red flag near my location. Nothing happened. (Well, that's not true, the little flag spun furiously on its axis). So I tried entering the location information and pressing "Search". Still nothing. Hmmm. Oh! Pop-up windows! Yet another "feature" I've turned off after being pummeled by too many sites forcing unwanted information on me.

Why do you use pop-up windows for this app? Many of us who have tired of retailers shoving unwanted windows at us have turned them off. What's wrong with just a plain old response?

Three (well, four) strikes and you're out. I'll order lunch from somewhere else.

Please consider making some changes to your site to allow basic navigation without needing a bunch of add-ons or optional components.

Your site looks very similar to several of the sites used as case studies in a web site I frequent often, WebPagesThatSuck.com. The phrase "mystery meat navigation" kept coming to my mind as I hunted around trying to figure out what the heck I was "supposed to" be doing. Your web team might learn from this site and make your site more accessible to others.

Other comments #4: First off, the navigation is Mystery Meat! For a company that promotes "all natural meat" and other products, you'd think they wouldn't use Mystery Meat Navigation. It took me several minutes just to find the nutritional information for their food.

Here is what I had to do to try to find it.

  1. Visited site.
  2. Clicked on "learn." (Had no idea what this link would take me to, let alone where to find it again.)
  3. Clicked on "Eat." (Had some hope that since the last page didn't teach me anything, maybe their Eat page would tell me what food they had.)
  4. Clicked on some random PDF link on that page... nothing. Clicked on "Ask."
  5. Clicked on "FAQ."
  6. FAQ lead me to some random magic 8-ball page that told me my search for nutritional information was "Awesome-os."
  7. Saw that FAQ Page had a link for "Real Answers."
  8. Finally got a PDF for the nutritional information.

Way too much work to see how many calories are in their food. I think I burned it all off during the process.

Their navigation menu changes designs every page, too. From tomatoes, to chips, to an avocado. Way too much work for something that should be simple and clean.

Other comments #5: I needed to order food for a bunch of people who like Mexican. They wanted good food quickly. I decided to get the food from Chipotle (also known as Chipotle Mexican Grill) and I wanted to print a menu for everyone to mark what they wanted.

I went to the web site for the company and quickly found that the web site is an annoying combination of mystery meat navigation, forced popups (when none are necessary) and a collection of links that do not lead to a menu of food. I never could find a menu. Maybe I'm dense, but I'm the customer and I needed a quick menu listing -- since their only purpose for existing is to sell food, a menu listing should be available one-click off the front page. Instead, the front-page is a stupid Flash animation, and once it is over you are left with nothing but this lone Flash-based flower-like symbol that with each click spawns other unnecessary popup windows.

I fumbled with Chipotle for 2-3 minutes and I quickly became very frustrated. I decided to order from Uno Pizzeria instead. I could order online from Uno and pick it up 20 minutes later. Chipotle lost at least $120 worth of food sales from my one purchase just because of their really lousy web site Their web pages clearly suck.

Other comments #6. Chipotle is a Tex-Mex fast food joint known for their industrial style and pricey burritos. I just wanted to find out what time the location down the street closed, dude. Took me so long they were closed by the time I got there.

Other comments #7: I think this site violates every one of your rules.  It's www.chipotle.com. Even the name is bad because one would not know it refers to the Chipotle Mexican Grill restaurant chain.  It features vapid animation on every page (are these people actually trying to make their business look unprofessional?), coupled with equally annoying sounds. 

In one section, the floating graphic of the founder of this "business" popping out of a bin of chipotles has to be seen to be believed.  None of the pages of this site even have a banner telling you the name of the restaurant!  But the worst thing about this site is the "Mystery Meat."  It my be the most awful example I can think of.  Going into all the details would take far too long; just see for yourself.

Chipotle

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Kids Direct

Submitter's comments: I found your site about 8(?) years ago when I was first getting into web design/development - thanks for setting me on the right path. Here is a suggestion for the Daily Sucker: (turn on your sound).

You would think that the splash page with the huge spinning globe would be warning enough, but it's worse than you can imagine: It's got talking mystery meat AND one of those "physical space" navigation metaphors.

The HTML version is a series of links to PDF files with a disturbing lack of navigation and occasional broken links (try the "Back to the Parents' Area" link at the bottom of the Family Activity Sheet -- of course they'll fix this by the time you get to it.

And the site cost £2.2 million of taxpayers' money (that's pounds: more than $4.4 million US dollars)

Kids Direct

Vincent Flanders' comments: I love the Mystery Meat Navigation on the Accessibility page. I think the best explanation about this site comes from The Telegraph's article.

Color, Contrast & Dimension in News Design

Yeah, great document TITLE -- "Untitled". They have to use Flash — and they use it nicely — but if you don't have Flash, you get a blank page. They could at least provide an explanation of what the page is about and a link to get Flash.

Real graphic designers don't use "Mystery Meat Navigation" — it's only used by ArtFarts — unless the site is personal, experimental, music, game, theatre, or sites where the goal is to be cool rather than informative.

Seems like I ran a Google search on "Untitled" and it came up with something like 13,600,000 pages. Ooops. Oh, it's really bad form to say "something like" or "sort of." Why? If you're a heterosexual male, ask yourself this question, "Would you want to date someone who was 'something like' a woman?" Another grammar issue that drives me crazy is "very unique." You can only be "unique" — "Radically distinctive and without equal" in my dictionary — which precludes the use of "very."

One of the best uses of Flash on the Web comes from the BBC and their "Spot the fake smile." You'll never look at a smile the same way again. I gave this little test to my friends and — surprise! surprise! — women scored better at finding the fake smile than men. It would be interesting to see how well professional poker players score on this test. I would hope they get them all correct. My score? 12 out of 20 correct. That's why I don't play poker for money (plus I can't bluff).

Color, Contrast & Dimension in News Design

MOMA Worksphere

I attended this exhibition...and found some of the displays intriguing. When I got back to the office, I wanted to point some of my colleagues to some of the more interesting displays, so I checked out the MOMA web site. First, it appears to be unavailable to anyone without Flash, and then if you get in it's MMN all the way. Let's say I suggest that my colleagues check out the Stitz Stool, the Personal Harbor, and the Aeron Chair. Where are they?

Vincent Flanders' comments: There's an old saying that there are no atheists in foxholes. I think there are no atheists when you surf and end up at sites like this. When I saw the navigation I immediately launched into a long-forgotten prayer, "Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for these sinners now and at the hour of their deaths Amen."

No small accomplishment from someone who attended Catholic grade school back in the 1950's and still bears the psychic scars from the nuns of St. Andrew's. Here was the e-mail that accompanied the suggestion.

As the e-mail states, you need Flash. Fine. But when you enter you will find the most amazing and disturbing use of Mystery Meat Navigation I have ever seen (until this Wednesday, the way my luck is going).

It's bad enough that there are over 150 MMN icons, but if you click on one of the topics on the right — like "objects" — well, you'll just have to click and see for yourself.

Well, I just got the following e-mail:

I just started working for the Museum of Modern Art and upon reviewing traffic reports from our web site I learned that we were the Daily Sucker in April. Unfortunately, that was before I started working here; however, I would be really interested in reading your review and why we sucked as we are about to redesign our web site. Can you please send me a copy of the article or a link to the archives where I might find the article?

Some things, I would think, are obvious. That's why this site is the current Mystery Meat Navigation champ.

MOMA Worksphere — Click on the Enter button.

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HistoryWired at Smithsonian Institute

Vincent Flanders' comments: I don't know what to think about this one.

The (small) part of me that's visually oriented wants to like it and the (major) part of me that's word-oriented wants to hate it. I'll give you the e-mail I received.

This site pains me. It truly pains me. The Smithsonian is such a great learning center. One of the reasons I love having moved to this area is that I can visit the many Smithsonian museums any time I like. I just looked a this and thought "What were they THINKING!"

Here, we have MMN taken to a new level. A screen of blank, various-sized boxes that give no clue as to what lies beneath. Then you start to roll-over the boxes with you curser. By the way, that microscopic dot is your curser. Suddenly lines spring from the toolbar boxes and a large orange rectangle gives a few lines describing the picture you see that has popped up on the left. That is unless the box is on the far right or the bottom of the screen, then the picture has moved off the edge of your screen and you'll have to scroll back to see it. Click in one of the boxes. See the offer to zoom in at 2x, 4x, or 8x? You think that applies to the picture, don't you? Oh no! It zooms in on the box. On to the one-line title in the box. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. By the way, the size of the box doesn't seem to have any relation to anything. I'm not sure why they have all those different sizes.

When you first enter the site there is a pop-up window that explains how to navigate the site, but it's really a lost cause from the start. Trust me, just come to D.C. and hang around the museums for a few days.

Like I said, most of me doesn't like it. On the other hand, there's a part of me that admires the difficulty in creating something like this.

HistoryWired at Smithsonian Institute

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