What Would Zatoichi—The Blind Swordsman—Do About Bad Web Design?

What would Zatoichi do?

I'm not into martial arts—or martial arts movies—but I'm totally enthralled by a series of movies featuring a character named Zatoichi, played by Shintarô Katsu.

To paraphrase Wikipedia, Zatoichi appears to be a harmless, blind masseur. He wanders across Japan and makes his living by giving massages, acupuncture treatments and gambling on dice games. What most people don't know is Zatoichi is a master swordsman whose sword is hidden in his cane.

Obviously, during the movie Zatoichi runs into lots of evil people who try to take advantage of him and others—lots of people. Big mistake. If this plot sounds familiar, you might have seen Rutger Hauer in Blind Fury, which is based on the Zatoichi series of movies. Interestingly, you can watch complete Zatoichi movies for free on Hulu.

I started thinking about Zatoichi in the context of web design and asked myself, "If badly designed websites were like evil samurai warriors and Zatoichi met them in the middle of the road, what would Zatoichi do? (NSFW)

Today's Daily Sucker is New Town Primary School and Zatoichi would "improve" the site with a complete "redesign."

How Would Zatoichi Handle the 149 Web Design Mortal Sins that appeared in Web Design Checklist 1 - Fatal Mistakes? Well, if I counted correctly, it's the same way Zatoichi handled 149 samurai warriors. (This is sooooo NSWF.)

Note: The clips are from a later Zatoichi movie. The 26 earlier movies have more stylized violence.