Submitter’s comments: I’m sending you a Flash site with really great graphics, but the navigation is horrible. They use icons at the top (medallions, they call them), that you might think are the navigation (Mystery Meat Navigation at that), but if you click on them, they don’t take you anywhere. You have to click on a “background” graphic (to the left or right of the main image) in order to go through the different areas of the site. You only get a couple navigational choices at a time and it cycles you through the areas. {you can’t just jump to the specific area you want to go to}.
Maybe you won’t find it as annoying as I do.
Vincent Flanders’ comments: Actually, I probably find it more annoying than you do. It starts off with a volume control that goes to “11.” Holy Spinal Tap — let’s start off with a cliche. Then we get an incredibly pretentious introduction that makes me think we’re watching Spinal Tap 2010. I ignore the following text which, as it turns out, actually gives me a clue as to who/what is behind this crap sandwich.
I click and get an old-style camera, floating lady and some Liberace-looking guy at a piano. We’re starting our descent into the black hole of f**cking death.
Eventually, I figure out this site is some kind of promo for — milk. I like milk. Well, I used to like milk but this site has turned me off to the white stuff. God, what a piece of crap. It reminds me of
Submitter’s comments: Worst/funniest limo web site ever. PLEASE Pay attention to TV Commercial #1. It’s now my favorite new song. “His name is Lee! Leeeeeeee”
Vincent Flanders’ comments: I’ve had bronchitis for the last few days, which explains why the Daily Sucker hasn’t been so daily.
Hopefully, we can all look at the site and figure out what’s wrong. All I need to say is that it doesn’t look like limos.com. Oh, Limos.com sucks mightily because of the small text and lack of contrast between the text and the background. They’re a Daily Sucker, too. On the other hand, their site looks INFINTELY better than Lee’s.
Submitter’s comments: It’s Christmas in Haiti! A Haitian News Network site. O….M….G.
Vincent Flanders’ comments: Mother Mary save us!!!!
There are only two possible reasons this site won’t make the list of the worst sites of 2009:
They fix the site.
My clever, clever readers discover and send in a whole bunch of sites that are worse than today’s sucker. Frankly, this possibility scares me more than a proctologist with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
At least today’s site doesn’t use sound files. Actually, I’m not sure because I was too scared to click any links. If the home page sucks this much, what hope is there for any of the subpages? This site doesn’t just suck, it’s the black hole of f**cking death.
If you’re one of those folks who thinks the glass is half-full, you’ll be comforted by the thought that web design in Haiti has nowhere to go but up. I’m not sure which of the following two statements from the great movie reviewer Mr. Cranky applies to the Haiti News Network:
“This is so godawful that it ruptures the very fabric of space and time with the sheer overpowering force of its mediocrity.”
“Proof that Jesus died in vain.”
Wait. I know which one is the right phrase — It’s the black hole of f**cking death.
Vincent Flanders’ comments: Like the recently late, great Jim Carroll I also am a “Catholic boy. Redeemed through pain and not through joy.” I don’t have positive or negative feelings about the university and I’m not sure if I know anyone who attended the University of Notre Dame. I’m a native Hoosier and I graduated from Wabash College and my school had zero connection to ND. I also don’t really pay attention to college (or professional) football.
I mention all this to make sure I don’t get some jerkwad saying I’ve got it in for ND. The truth is, I’ve got it in for bad web design and the ND home page has plenty of bad design. The best way to explain, is through a video.
Submitter’s comments: The site for this park in Washington, DC, actually isn’t too bad – as long as you don’t care about actually reading the text. The colors sure are pretty, but the contrast is negligible.
Vincent Flanders’ comments: We have a winner in the category “Web Site That Looks Nice, But There’s No F***king Contrast.” AccessColor said:
Both color difference and color brightness do not meet the recommended standard for 100% of the total text.
Submitter’s comments: It’s bad and it’s bonkers. Two of your favourites. I actually struggled to find a ‘How to tell if your web site sucks’ rule it doesn’t break. I guess there isn’t a FlashSplash page. Oh, and no Mystery Meat Navigation (although it is fairly unreadable), but other than that, it’s a pretty full house.
My favourite quote from the site is from ‘the real truth about god’ page, ‘God is coming – and he is mad;’ probably mostly about this piss-poor web site.
Vincent Flanders’ comments: God, how I love people who know how to turn a phrase — “It’s bad and it’s bonkers. Two of your favourites.”
I like over-the-top web sites and I’m sure today’s sucker will join them. My favorite part of this sucker? The left and right columns of text are centered, while the center column text is flush left. For some reason, it just seems funny in an ironic way.
BTW, the site says the 7 years of tribulation starts December 14, 2012. I hate to break the news, but according to the History Channel’s shows (about Nostradamus and the Mayans), the world is going to end on December 21, 2012. I guess if you have accrued vacation time, you might want to plan to use it up before then <grin>.
Submitter’s comments: This is something of a stealth suck. Nothing really notably bad about it at first glance. At second glance the menu bar at the top catches your eye.
It looks like it was made with an old typewriter with serifs missing from a number of the letters.
It is also Flash. While one wonders why anyone would go to the effort to do this in Flash, one of the benefits of Flash is that you do not have to count on the user’s computer to have the correct font. Apparently, this is part of their look which seems odd considering what they do for a living.
The rest of the page text is in images for the most part. At the bottom of the page is a list of products with a “font size=”1″ tag.
Click on anything. On that page you will find the ever popular light gray text on a white background. The menu on the side is a bit more reasonable but does nothing for their SEO. The images have names like “sub02_01_01_o.gif” rather then Google (and maintainer) friendly names like HB8000_Series_Powder.gif. On these sub-pages the small list of products at the bottom might as well not exist. Very small font, light gray and italicized. Yikes.
Ok, all of this was based on viewing it in I.E. Now use Firefox for a real treat. In my version (3.5.3) all the sub pages blink! No clues how they managed that.
