Web Pages That Suck - learn good web design by looking at bad web design

Submitter’s comments: As a grants administrator, one of my jobs is to find grants for our faculty. This is one of the worst web sites for a foundation that I’ve ever seen. There’s the constant motion over the logo (which is repeated on subsequent pages). This motion distracts the eye so that it’s hard to figure out that you have to click on either “ENGLISH” or the Arabic letters next to it to move to the next page. Which leads you to the Intro page, that also has a back and forth motion page.

After the Intro page, there are two different distracting elements – the row of flowers at the upper left, and a bunch of flowers floating around on the page, both of which are in constant motion. How do you find the pages with the information? Look for the little brown pouffy things in the upper right. Oh. I think those are discolored hydrangeas. For a major corporation, this web site. is just lame.

Vincent Flanders’ comments: Since it appears the site took in its last grant application on December 11, 2008, I agree this site is among the most horrible nonprofits I’ve ever seen.

There is so much that’s obviously wrong, I won’t even discuss it. What I find most amusing is they can’t spell “can’t” (they spell it “cant”) on the home page. That’s one of the reasons why Flash sucks. It’s hard to correct typos.

On the other hand, if this web site were active, it would be The Perfect Web Site. This is one of the most important and least-discussed elements of web design.

The reason is simple. They’re giving away money. Yes, they expect you to “do” something in return for the money, but they’re giving away money. Any site that gives away money has The Perfect Web Site — no matter what the site looks like.

The Kresge Foundation web site is perfect. The Charles and Helen Schwab Foundation web site is perfect and, of course, The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation’s web site is The Perfect Web Site.

Even if the designers at the Gates Foundation flipped out and made their site look horrible (Warning: audio involved), it will still be The Perfect Web Site. Repeat after me, “They’re giving away money.”

On the other hand, you’re not giving away money on your web site — heck, you’re probably asking for money or selling something — so your site can’t suck.

Since it seems to be out of commission, The Ford Conservation and Environmental Grants web site qualifies as the Daily Sucker.

Ford Conservation and Environmental Grants

Submitter’s comments: Found this on Digg, and instantly thought of you for these four factors:

• Way over-the-top intro.
• Flashturbation.
• Religious web site.
• GlobeGuy would like it.

Vincent Flanders’ comments: I searched for it on Digg and discovered the site was Dugg 7,852 times, with over 1,000 comments. The headline was The Most Intense Web site. Intro Ever and it certainly qualifies.

Yes, it sucks like…well, I can’t write the analogy because I try to be somewhat audience friendly. Nevertheless, I WANT A SPLASH-FLASH PAGE LIKE THIS FOR WPTS. I’ve always prided myself on having a somewhat tacky design. This FlashSplash is perfect. All some talented designer with a Flash decompiler has to do is replace ICCM with WPTS and change some of the wording around. Man, oh, man, I’d love to start off WPTS with a steaming, smelling pile of crap like that.

ICCM

One of the problems about linking to sucky web sites is they get fixed or will probably get fixed. I’ve uploaded some videos catching them in all their “glory.”

1. This site may have the dumbest navigation in history. It was tied for 3rd Worst Web Site of 2006. Here’s the YouTube version and a higher-def version.
2. Here’s one I uploaded to YouTube about FlashSplash pages and here’s a higher-def version.
3. When a steel manufacturing company uses Mystery Meat Navigation, it’s the end of the world. Here’s the YouTube version and here’s a higher-def version.
4. Here’s a web site that is the Worst Web Site in the World and may be the Worst Web Site Ever Created. I just have  the larger version.

Submitter’s comments: Celebrating the 40th anniversary of the Apollo 11 landing… and about the 15th anniversary of when this was top-of-the-line Web page design. It’s even got a modern equivalent to one of those “Top 5%” badges. Gosh, that takes me back.

Vincent Flanders’ comments: Yes, it takes me back — to a place I don’t want to go. I was there once, thank you, and I don’t want to go back. The only thing that’s right is there’s plenty of color contrast. Unfortunately, the colors are ugly and you can read the text.

The Omaha Science Fiction Education Society

No. You’re not worth it.

Submitter’s comments: I’ve seen worse, yet it seems to have enough of the fundamental(ly bad) features that it was worth sending your way.

Vincent Flanders’ comments: There’s a sad irony in the fact that what looks to be an organization to increase one’s self-esteem has an incredibly sucky web site. Actually, I don’t have the foggiest clue what the organization is really about.

To make matters worse. The page wants to play the song “We are the world,” but according to the Windows Media Player, the file is copy-protected and I don’t have the right to play it. Hmm.

If I wanted to be nice, I’d say this site is a classic example of Mistake #5 from Biggest Mistakes in Web Design 1995-2015 — “Have you ever seen another web site? Really? Doesn’t look like it.“

They can chant “I’m worth it” until they’re blue in the face, but the design isn’t worth the paper it isn’t printed on. Oh, and GlobeGuy probably will wet his pants when he sees today’s sucker.

We’re Worth It

Uh…Is the public welcome?

Submitter’s comments: Try finding a product to purchase on this web site. I dare you!

Vincent Flanders’ comments: Of course, I can’t. If a human could, it wouldn’t have been submitted. Is this an intranet that’s available for the public? It’s like it’s for current customers, but there’s nothing to tell you that.

SCW

Three non-web page related items.

1. Thursday night I’m going to watch James McMurtry, one of America’s best songwriters, at the Tractor Tavern in Seattle — http://tractortavern.ypguides.net/page/ntqa/CALENDAR.html . McMurtry’s web site is logically at http://www.jamesmcmurtry.com/

2. Slate has an article about one of McMurtry’s songs and why it should be America’s new national anthem. http://www.slate.com/id/2213709 — heck, he predicted the home mortgage meltdown back in 2002.

3. Has anybody else noticed that Susan Boyle (Britain Has Talent sensation) looks like Jimmy Page (Led Zeppelin)? Were they Separated at Birth? Could we get Susan to sing “Stairway to Heaven” while Jimmy plays?

Jimmy — http://localrhythms.files.wordpress.com/2008/11/jimmy-page.jpg
Susan — http://www.boston.com/news/local/articles_of_faith/Susan%20Boyle.jpg

WTF?

Submitter’s comments: Here’s an incredible waste of time and bandwidth and one of the most pretentious Flash videos I’ve seen.

What were they THINKING?

Vincent Flanders’ comments: I love the introduction:

Are Wyatt
instruments
the product
of Intelligent Design…

…or evolution?

Personally, I think they’re the product of someone with too much money, not enough taste, and way too much time on their hands. Pompous drivel.

Wyatt Technology Corporation

GlobeGuy strikes again.

GlobeGuy’s comments: In researching companies, I’ve run across some really ugly sites, and a few times I’ve been tempted to send one to you, but in the case of the one below, I’m unable to resist temptation:

Notice not just the spinning globe floating over the hand, but the series of blue worlds in the upper right.

Vincent Flanders’ comments: The only way the spinning globe above the hand would makes sense is if the web site were called He’s-Got-The-Whole-World-In-His-Hands.com; otherwise, it’s a stupid cliche. It doesn’t even make sense to have the globe because the phrase above it is “Let VSoft Navigate You Through the Payment Landscape!” An image of a compass would make sense, but knowing these folks, they’d make the compass spin and rotate and be all shiny.

VSoft

Submitter’s comments: Ugly site, different fonts and colors, bad navigation, hard to find a contact.  What’s red, white, blue, and sucky all over? This site!

Vincent Flanders’ comments: I agree, but there are a couple of positives:

1. There’s no animated American flag like so many other sites of this type have on the home page. Animated flags were only OK for a couple of months back in 2001.

2. Google has them ranked 13th for the term [magnetic signs].

AA Instant Sign

I suggest that Amazon.com stop making stupid suggestions.

Amazon.com’s suggestions about books “I might like to know about” is about as accurate as my suggestions about etiquette at a formal dinner.

On March 30, 2000, I purchased Teach Yourself Indonesian Complete Course by John B. Kwee because my daughter was going to Kalimantan (Borneo) to work with the now-famous Lone Droscher-Nielson at her Orangutan preserve. On Sunday I get the following email (emphasis is mine):

Dear Amazon.com Customer,

As someone who has purchased or rated “Teach Yourself Indonesian Complete Course” by John B. Kwee, you might like to know that “Spoken World: Polish” will be released on April 28, 2009. You can pre-order yours at a savings of $18.50 by following the link below.

You’ve got to be fricking kidding me. Anyone with an IQ higher than an ice cube knows there is zero chance an American who wants to learn Indonesian will also ever want to learn Polish. Zero. Absolute Zero. Yeah, yeah. I know they’re using senseless bots to send out the messages, but it’s still aggravating.

A side note: The Wrestler is out on DVD today. Great movie.

Worst Web Sites of 2009: #1-13

Worst Web Sites of 2009: #13-24

I’ve found hell.

Submitter’s comments: I remember you had a name for this type of web site, but I don’t remember what it was. Whatever it is, it definitely sucks.

Vincent Flanders’ comments: Hmm. Let me think. What type of web site is it? An “Over The Top Web Site?” Well, it certainly is one but that doesn’t quite hit the nail on the head. “How about ’2.81MB of crap?’” True, but there are bigger crap piles out there. “One of the Worst Web Sites on the Web?” YES! We have a winner.

I’d like to give them the benefit of the doubt and say it’s just another example of Mistake #5 from Biggest Mistakes in Web Design 1995-2015 — “Have you ever seen another web site? Really? Doesn’t look like it.“ But I can’t. As Father Flanders would say, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions and bad web design.”

The Rapture – Spring 2009?

Quilts.com really sucks

Submitter’s comments: This is a big-deal site. They organize the major trade shows for the fabric industry. And someone convinced them that they really, really, really needed a FLASH intro page (even though the rest of the site doesn’t appear to utilize Flash). Please wait….. Page loading….. And for what? For four lousy rollover images that could just as easily been done in Javascript. But that “Q”. That “Q” really makes it all worth it.

And I love the “(enter here)” link. As if actually getting to the web site is the last thing you’d want to do. And once you’re in the site, check out the cool Navbar. Not only does it get you to the page you’re looking for, but it also provides some completely irrelevant and confusing information. Wow. Just wow.

See the navbar on the left? The one that barely does anything and hardly contains any links? Cool, huh?

I just want one thing in life. I just want to never get behind the person who designed this site when I’m driving.

Vincent Flanders’ comments: I think they should change their tagline on the SplashPage from “We’re Quilts” to “We’re Confused.” When I looked at the home page, I really didn’t notice the four links because my eyes automatically turned away from the scrolling text. My eyes also focused on the quilt patterns above. Some of the links in the navbar at the left are PDF files and, of course, they’re not marked as such. Remember people don’t like surprises. I was surprised that the home page doesn’t fit in my 1200 x 1890 pixel monitor and a portion gets cut off on the right side

I clicked on the Festival Gallery Online graphic (which doesn’t really look like a link) and was greeted with some really beautiful quilts. Finally I found something worth looking at. The Wizard of Oz shoes on the home page also doesn’t look like a link. When you click the shoes, you’re taken to a page that give the appearance it’s on another web site. Nope.

Although they have a big “Get Adobe Reader” button at the end of the text area on the Contests page, they need to have PDF icons after each link that’s a PDF (3 of the 5) on the page.

Quilts.com

I don’t want web page avatars talking to me.

Submitter’s comments: This page has a little too much fun with all of the Flash toys. It’d be a clever layout if a floating man didn’t start talking to me, a bunch of pictures started flipping frantically, and a little boat followed me as I scrolled.

Vincent Flanders’ comments: A talking, floating man is a good way to get your web site listed as one of the Worst of the Year. What really upsets me is the lack of understand about paragraph structure. A paragraph is a logical unit…wait, it’s better to have an expert describe the structure of a paragraph. You don’t just run words together until you feel the urge to stop.

The home page is something like 2.1Mb and if you go to a subpage and then go back to the homepage, The Talking Bottle Guy repeats his spiel. Of course, we have contrast issues, and the HTML has <FONT> tags, and the usual stuff you see here at WPTS.

Mr. Bottles

Herron School of Art’s Blue Circles of Death

Vincent Flanders’ comments: As Alfred Tennyson wrote, “In the spring a young man’s fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love.” As Vincent Flanders wrote, “In the spring a young web designer’s fancy lightly turns to thoughts of winning a Webby.” Somehow I ended up on a page with this year’s list of Webby nominees. I tried not to look at too many of the nominated sites because…well…I don’t want to be disappointed. I like to pretend that awards for good design go to sites that actually are well designed and usable. You’re all saying, “But Vincent, you’re a cynic.” Not really. I’m an optimist who has been burned too many times.

However, the name of one nominee caught my eye because of my past history — The Herron School of Art. I actually spent my 21st birthday at the Herron watching an art movie called Kanal while I was under the influence of a three-letter psychedelic. If you think it’s fun watching Polish freedom fighters slogging up to their necks through sewers of sh*t while you’re under the influence, you’re wrong. Oh, are you wrong. That night the movie was in Smell-o-Vision and color.

Normally, I give a pass to art sites because they’re art sites and not real businesses with accountability. Yes, I’ve criticized MOMA’s Workspheres exhibit because of an insanely crazy, yet stereotypical, use of MMN. The John Herron School, on the other hand, uses inconsistent MMN. Some of the blue circles are actually navigational links while others are simply blue circles. There’s no way a circle from a link unless you mouse over a circle. And, of course, there’s no way to find a link a second time unless you have a photographic memory. I wish I could flush the memory of Kanal from my brain.

Herron School of Art and Design

FedEx and Mystery Meat Navigation

Submitter’s comments: Here’s a great example of Mystery Meat Navigation (MMN) I just stumbled on while looking for a place to buy shipping boxes in Google search. Fedex has a great listing in a listing at the top of the results page, but they spoil it with this page. Not only is it a Mystery Meat extravaganza, it’s *animated* mystery meat. What will they think of next!?

Vincent Flanders’ comments: What will they think of next? Take a look at today’s Daily Sucker #2 to see what they think of next.

I don’t understand FedEx. They take what appears to be an effective and well-designed home page and screw it up faster than Mickey Rourke screwed up his career. (The Wrestler is coming out next week. I love that movie.) Why do they use MMN? Is it because they’re trying to maximize screen real estate? Or is it because they know how to make a carousel out of Flash?

Fedex Office

Submitter’s comments: I got sent this horrifying thing.

Vincent Flanders’ comments: OK. I fixed the link. I’m an idiot.

I don’t know if it’s horrifying or just confusing. I guess it’s some kind of community (isn’t everything these days?). It’s called “Manidoo,” but I look at it and think “Man I don’t.”

Manidoo

Submitter’s comments: It never ceases to amaze me that people don’t understand that they are hurting their business by having the most amazingly sucky web sites.

Thanks for your great service to mankind!

Vincent Flanders’ comments: This site is a classic example of Mistake #5 from Biggest Mistakes in Web Design 1995-2015 — “Have you ever seen another web site? Really? Doesn’t look like it. This site is blatantly beyond the pale — we’re not discussing the difference between a Monet painting and one by Manet — how can anyone NOT see the problems with this site? Look. My site sucks, but it’s infinitely better than today’s sucker.

Heck. Larry the Cable Guy would design a better looking site than this site (here’s a link for my foreign readers who may not catch the reference). Hell. My mother could design a better looking site and she died before web pages became popular.

Nuke it and start over.

AAA+ Utah Ski Rental Homes

Submitter’s comments: My daughter needed to get some information about Thomas Edison and the typewriter. I eventually found it, but had to print the PDF…the screen font is too small and dark for me to read.

See if you can find the article on “Thomas Edison’s Type Writer.” Let me know how it goes.

Vincent Flanders’ comments: I’ll tell you how it went. Right down the toilet. This site is one of the worst I’ve seen. The site is supposed to be about providing information, except they use every trick in the book to hide the information. The site was created with Flash. That’s the first mistake. Then they’re using circular navigation and then there’s the Mystery Meat Navigation in the center that’s about Edison’s patents. I’ll bet you $100 you can’t immediately go to Edison’s Galvanic Batteries patent.

I thought I’d be clever and use Google’s sitesearch and find “typewriter.” Nope. Even Google can’t find it. That’s the major reason Flash sucks. Searching is damn near impossible. Oh. We also have a FlashSplash page that wastes our time. Another reason Flash sucks is it’s hard to update your text. The copyright date on the site is 2006.

As I’ve said in Biggest Mistakes in Web Design 1995-2015, there are four reasons people visit a web site:

1. They want/need information
2. They want/need to make a purchase / donation.
3. They want/need to be entertained.
4. They want/need to be part of a community.

You won’t satisfy any of those wants/needs on today’s Daily Sucker.

There are four reason people visit the Edison Innovation Foundation:

1. They want/need to be annoyed.
2. They want/need to be frustrated.
3. They want/need the feeling of Web Rage (it’s the Internet version of Road Rage).
4. They want/need to waste precious minutes of their life.

Edison Innovation Foundation

Submitter’s comments: I work for a nonprofit organization in the upper Midwest. I’ve been told to re-do our web site and, for some reason, my Director likes the look of the Horicon Public Library and is “strongly” suggesting I use this format. I’m a newbie and admit that I don’t know a ton about web design, but I think I know sucky when I see it.

The tiny font for the address; the vertical text for navigation; and the not-so-intuitive navigation with all the assorted images. What was the designer thinking??? Tell me if I’m wrong, but I think this page sucks.

Vincent Flanders’ comments: Of course, you’re right. This site is awful. It’s a library. A library is supposed to make it easy for you to find the information you’re looking for. Sideways navigation? The Dewey Decimal System is not comprised of random numbers so why are they using Mystery Meat Navigation?

I think Seth Godin is a genius and his latest post is basically a cleaned-up summation of Web Pages That Suck:

“Do you want the people visiting this site to notice it?”

It’s a subtle but essential question.

For artists, musicians and web 2.0 companies, the answer is probably yes. Yes we want people to see the interface or remark on our skills or cleverness.

For everyone else, it’s no. The purpose of the site is to tell a story or to generate some sort of action. And if the user notices the site, not the story, you’ve lost.

Amazingly, this means that not only can’t the site be too cutting edge, clever or slick, it also can’t be too horrible, garish or amateurish. It’s sort of like the clothes you want the person giving a eulogy to wear. No Armani, no cutoff jeans.

Most people want their dentist to look like a dentist and not someone going to the opera. People of Horicon: Look like a library web site and not a photography web site.

Horicon Public Library

Submitter’s comments: Thought you might “like” this one. Yikes! :)

Vincent Flanders’ comments: This is yet another classic example of Mistake #5 from Biggest Mistakes in Web Design 1995-2015 — “Have you ever seen another web site? Really? Doesn’t look like it.“

I used Google to search the phrase [wedding photographer toronto] and today’s Daily Sucker was listed on the first page. Yes, being listed on the first page is wonderful, but it isn’t enough. Your site has to look at least as good as the competition — especially the sites listed above and below you.

This is the wedding photography site listed before (#7) today’s Daily Sucker, This is today’s Daily Sucker (#8), and this is the photography site listed after (#9) today’s Daily Sucker. All they had to do was look at the site above and below them to see a better looking site!

Seriously. If you looked at the three sites listed 7, 8, and 9, which one would you NOT want to do your photography? I’ve said it a 100 times before and I’ll say it 2,000 more times — “If your site doesn’t look like a pro, the people will go.”

Yet another contender for Worst Web Site of 2009.

Wedding Photographers Toronto

Submitter’s comments: I found another shockingly bad site that you might be interested in. Have a look at your leisure.

Vincent Flanders’ comments: We have another sure-fire contender for the Worst Web Site of 2009. It’s 4.3Mb of flashing, blinking crap. I’m pretty sure the site makes almost all the possible text mistakes:

1. Small text, which is difficult to read and comprehend.
2. LARGE text, which is difficult to read and comprehend.
3. LOTS OF WORDS IN ALL-CAPS.
4. Scrolling, blinking, fading, or moving text.
5. Underlined text. (Only links should be underlined.)
6. Centered text (some headlines can be centered)
7. Justified text.
8. Sideways text.
9. Uncommon fonts.
10. <FONT> tag.
11. Inappropriate font faces —
    like Comic Sans on a senior citizen site.
12. Multiple text sizes on a page. There should be two sizes — one for headlines and one for text.
13. Multiple text colors on a page.

I apologize if I’ve missed some or some of the above don’t apply. The site is too messy to examine thoroughly.

LingsCars.com

Submitter’s comments: Don’t ask how I found this site. At first glance, the designer has not looked at any other web sites.

Vincent Flanders’ comments: Just like the U.S. military, I have my own Don’t Ask Don’t Tell policy.

Obviously, this is a classic example of Mistake #5 from Biggest Mistakes in Web Design 1995-2015 — “Have you ever seen another web site? Really? Doesn’t look like it.“

The site is one you find in an “Over The Top” industry. The definition of an “Over the Top” industry is just like the definition of pornography — you know it when you see it. Over the Top sites generally deal with philosophy, religion, politics, etc., but they’re generally not mainstream.

To keep from harming myself, I only visited the home page. BTW. I have a whole page of over-the-tops.

ADDENDUM 04/08/09 Someone wrote in to say some/many/all of the subpages may be Not Suitable For Work.

Happeh Theory